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Week 11 sure was an unbelievable affair, was it not? We managed to scratch out a .500 week against the spread, even if we lost a game we should have won when a certain replay review went horribly awry. And in straight-up picks, had the Bills not suffered a Scott Norwood déjà vu moment, and the Eagles not forgotten how long an NFL game actually lasts, we might have come closer to perfection than we ever had before. As it is, we're more than happy with our 12-3-1 showing. In the spirit of "not believing everything you read" (which includes the final score of a football game going from 17-10 to 11-10 after the broadcast had gone off the air) we're going to base our Week 12 selections on urban legends, Internet hoaxes and other wacky news items that we found on one of our favorite Web sites, Snopes.com. We cannot attest to the truth of the following items -- in fact, most of these items are complete and utter fabrications -- but that certainly hasn't stopped millions of folks from forwarding them to friends all across the nation as if they were gospel. Here's the Week 12 rundown:

Tale of the Tape
Week 11, Straight Up: 12-3-1 (Overall: 98-61-1)
Week 11, Versus the Spread: 8-8 (Overall: 81-79)

Thursday, November 20

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (-10½)

"Foot Locker is going out of business in December." If true, that would mean fewer places for people who are not qualified to be referees to dress up like referees. Of course, they'd still be welcome in the NFL; at least, that might be how it seems from Troy Polamalu's view, or anyone who got burned by the end of last week's Steelers game. Still, they won that fiasco, and should win again easily here.

Prediction: Steelers by 19

Sunday, November 23

Carolina at Atlanta (-1½)

"A Florida man was arrested for domestic battery after police witnessed him throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend." A sandwich might not seem like a weapon, but then again, who thought DeAngelo Williams was going to be so effective as a weapon for Carolina? The Falcons are young and improving, but we think they've still a way to go before they learn how to win these tough battles.

Prediction: Panthers by 1

Houston at Cleveland (-3½)

"A box was left in the middle of the road, and a driver swerved out of the way just in time to avoid the young child who was hiding inside of it." This story probably never actually happened, but it does show that sometimes the young and inexperienced might do foolish things, yet somehow they still find a way to survive. Sounds an awful lot like Brady Quinn to us.

Prediction: Browns by 5

San Francisco at Dallas (-10½)

"A German teenager was blown out of his bathroom window moments after ahem, taking care of business, then lighting a cigarette." Mike Singletary might have temporarily lit a fire under his team after dropping trou in the locker room, but against Dallas, we think things might blow up in his face.

Prediction: Cowboys by 7

Tampa Bay at Detroit (+8½)

"Bambi's mother dies in the movie because Walt Disney blamed himself for the fire that killed his mother." Who's to blame for the tragic state of affairs in Detroit? Firing the GM didn't help, and after this week's loss, will Rod Marinelli be standing too far behind Matt Millen on the unemployment line?

Prediction: Bucs by 17

Jets at Tennessee (-5½)

"The shortest story Ernest Hemingway ever published was only ten words long." We're not sure if this is a fact, but after this week, the Titans will continue to lay claim to the longest winning streak of 2008, and it will be more than 10 games long.

Prediction: Titans by 7

Buffalo at Kansas City (+3½)

"Furman University changed the name of its sports teams from the Christian Knights to the Paladins to avoid an embarrassing acronym." Maybe Furman alum Ingle Martin can attest to the veracity of this urban legend … if he were ever allowed to see the field, that is. Not that it would help matters … Tyler Thigpen has been doing just fine, and the Chiefs still can't manage to win. No change here.

Prediction: Bills by 9

Chicago at St. Louis (+7½)

"The day after Barack Obama won the Presidential election, the Illinois Daily Lottery number was 6-6-6." Chicago played like H-E-double hockey sticks last week, yet there's still plenty of opportunity for them to defy the odds and rise to the top of the pack in their division. One sure-fire way to atone for past sins? Play the Rams.

Prediction: Bears by 16

New England at Miami (-1½)

"A Texas bar sued the local church because the owner believed the lightning that struck his tavern was brought about by the teetotaling parishioners' prayers." It's never a good thing to want others to suffer the same misery that you've been through. The Dolphins took the high road, and rather than hoping the Patriots came down to their 1-15 level, they've raised their game to match New England's. And besides, nobody believes that Tom Brady's Week 1 injury had anything to do with "negative vibes sent his way by Joey Porter."

Prediction: Dolphins by 1

Minnesota at Jacksonville (-2½)

"There is a tree in Nalgonda, India that appears to have large, jungle animal-shaped figures appearing naturally in the bark." This is a complete hoax, as someone took a photo of an artificially carved tree from Disney World and simply put a caption under it stating the fake location. What isn't a hoax is that the Jaguars don't appear naturally at the bottom of the standings, where they currently reside. There's nothing more dangerous than a cornered animal. Fear the Jags this week.

Prediction: Jaguars by 4

Philadelphia at Baltimore (-1½)

"A woman gave birth to a child and entered the name Le-a on the birth certificate. When the nurse hands her 'Baby Leah' the mother corrects her sternly& 'It is pronounced Ledasha.'" This is just silly, but just in case it isn't, expect a big day from Le'Ron McClain. On second thought … THAT would be silly. We're going with Philly in a close one.

Prediction: Eagles by 1

Oakland at Denver (-9½)

"Hours after students released pigs numbers 1, 2 and 4 inside a rival school, the staff was still running around looking for Pig No. 3." Denver, on the other hand, is still looking for a healthy complement of running backs. Ryan Torain, Selvin Young, Andre Hall, Michael Pittman … all done. Is Peyton Hillis the answer? Maybe for this week, but Mike Shanahan is going to keep looking.

Prediction: Broncos by 11

Giants at Arizona (+3½)

"If you had bought $1,000 worth of beer last year, you'd have more money today from the can refunds than if you had bought $1,000 of AIG stock." The moral of the story is that recycling pays off. Kurt Warner has been taken off the scrap heap and appears shiny and new, but if there's a team out there that remembers what a battered and beaten Warner looks like, it's the Giants. They're not going to be impressed by the hasty polish.

Prediction: Giants by 4

Washington at Seattle (+3½)

"The new fad in crime is to hand out drug-soaked business cards in parking lots. The criminals watch the victims get in their car and pass out. Then they swoop in and take whatever they can." The Seahawks don't need anyone coming up with new ways to cause injury. They're just getting some of their injured stars back into the fold. However, Matt Hasselbeck and Deion Branch look a little woozy. They're still going to play the part of victim here.

Prediction: Redskins by 4

Indianapolis at San Diego (-2½)

"Due to a production error, a Fisher-Price talking doll uttered the phrase 'Satan is king.'" Many times, people hear what they want to hear, and the garbled speech of the doll in question could well have been saying "Peyton is king." But even a king can have a bad day, and, especially on the road, we're not convinced of the Colts' invulnerability anymore.

Prediction: Chargers by 5

Monday, November 24

Green Bay at New Orleans (-2½)

"At the wrap party after the final episode of 'Green Acres' the cast and crew ate the pig that had appeared on the show." Disgusting! However, we absolutely believe that the cast of characters on Green Bay's defense are going to eat pig-headed Jeremy Shockey alive.

Prediction: Packers by 2

The ESPN Eliminator requires that you make one and only one pick each week. You win and you live to pick again. You lose and it's all over. In Week 11, we lost a chance to be right or wrong when the Eagles played to a tie, and that result, coupled with the Falcons' failure against Denver, led to a paltry 10 out of 15 possible points. Still, we remain hovering around 78 percent for the season, which, as they say in the hood, is not chopped liver. This week, since we're basing our picks on stories that may well be B.S., we're going to select nothing but B's. So here's to the Bills, Bucs, Broncos, and Bears! And as for our top choice, look no further than Thursday night's tilt. No, not the Bengals … we're going with Big Ben, taking advantage of a tired team, coming off an extra full quarter of football on short rest. Here's the full listing of our top picks for this week's Eliminator, in order of our confidence:

DEFCON 5: Steelers
DEFCON 4: Bills
DEFCON 3: Broncos
DEFCON 2: Bucs
DEFCON 1: Bears

Good luck to all of you, and remember, the next time someone sends you an e-mail asking you to forward it to ten of your friends, lest you receive a horrible slap in the face from the universe, just click "delete." Trust me, you'll be fine.

AJ Mass is a fantasy football, baseball and college basketball analyst for ESPN.com. You can e-mail him here.